Do not punch your friends in the face, even if it makes you happy.
Never drink through your nose, that's a sure way to drown.
Never drive anywhere with a rabid wolverine in your pants.
If you get in an accident and not wearing a seat belt, try to block most the impact with your forehead.
What are germs? Germs are tiny tiny, little creatures, that want to kill you.
Even a tiny cut or scrape can be deadly, as soon as you're injured, immediatly cover the open wound with crazy glue.